Sacrifice
by Mrs Dionysius O'Gall
Summary: Lorelai must make a sacrifice. Spoilers for possible season 6 ending.
1. Restraint

She knew she was taking the wrong approach to her problem with Luke and that…woman. She paused for a moment to hang a sparkle-encrusted dress on a hanger. Instead of trying to influence Luke directly, she'd influence the woman. 

Genius. The idea seemed so simple, so pure. There must be something wrong with it. No. It really was genius.

She walked to the living room, where April was engrossed, watching a DVD. Her eye wandered to the shelf where they kept their collection.

"The Godfather."

Inspiration.

I'll make her an offer that she can't refuse.

-----

Lorelai was watching TV when the call came. Unaware of what was coming, and thinking it could only be Luke or Rory or her Mom, she answered.

"Hello?"

"Lorelai Gilmore?" a vaguely familiar woman's voice inquired.

"Yes. And you are?"

Lorelai was stunned as she listened to the caller just continue without identifying herself.

"If you don't want Luke to lose access to his daughter, you will listen very carefully to what I have to say."

"Who is this?" Lorelai demanded.

"You have one week to end your relationship with Luke Danes. Each day after that, that you refuse to comply with this demand, Luke will lose another visit with his daughter. Little April, she really loves him now, you know?"

"Who is this?" Lorelai reiterated, trembling.

"And he loves her. Very much. I hear they had a wonderful time in Philadelphia."

"Is this…is this Anna?" Lorelai asked.

The woman continued without answering. "After two weeks, Luke will lose all access to April and will be served with a restraining order."

"What?" Lorelai was stunned.

"Do you understand?" the woman asked for confirmation.

"Who is this?"

"Furthermore, if you try to contact Luke after you end your relationship, I will make sure that he is accused of something…unthinkable. It would be a shame to have a sex offender living in Stars Hollow, don't you think?"

Lorelai just stood frozen as she tried to absorb the words.

"It would be a shame to have a sex offender living in Stars Hollow, don't you think?" the woman on the other end of the phone repeated, much more slowly and emphatically this time. "Especially one who preys on little girls…"

Lorelai collapsed to the floor. "Yes," her voice shakily responded as her hand barely held up the phone.

"One week."

Click.

And the dial tone sounded in her ear. The phone fell to the ground from Lorelai's hand.

Some time later, Lorelai managed to pick herself up off the floor. 'What to do,' she thought. Surely, Anna couldn't get away with this…

And then she thought of Luke. He'd never upset April by putting her through a legal battle.

That night, Lorelai cried herself to sleep.

-----

The next morning, Lorelai could not bring herself to go to the diner. It would be too painful to see Luke.

But Luke loved her, and missed her, and so Lorelai had no choice but to pick up the phone when it inevitably rang.

"Yes?"

"Lorelai! Hey, just checking on you. I was getting worried…"

"I'm OK, just…umm...running late…" she reassured Luke.

"Good. Because today's already been weird," Luke explained.

"Oh yeah? How? Lorelai mindlessly asked.

Luke continued. "You know how I had plans to take April to the library this afternoon?"

Lorelai's heart sank as she realized what was coming next.

Luke chuckled. "She really enjoyed our trip to Philly, and Jess's store. That's why I don't get it."

"Get what?" Lorelai blandly expressed.

"She said something came up and she had to cancel. Said she hoped to see me tomorrow…but that she wasn't sure when she'd see me next…"

Lorelai could not hold her tears back any longer. Sliding down to the floor, she silently cried.

"Lorelai? Lorelai? You there?"

"Sorry, Luke. I'm sure it will…all work out."

After Luke hung up, Lorelai let out a breath that she hadn't realized she was holding. She knew what had to be done.

-----

Late that afternoon, Lorelai walked into the diner to find that Luke was busy in the storeroom. Caesar let him know that his fiancée was there, but Lorelai chose to go straight into the storeroom.

"Hey," Luke said, leaning down for a kiss which she could barely muster the strength for.

'I love him. I love him,' she thought, giving herself courage. 'I have to do this. I must do this.'

"Luke, I need to talk with you about something."

Luke looked at her with a concerned expression and responded with, "What's up?"

Unable to sleep most of the night, Lorelai had visualized this scene all night long, and then all day, unable to concentrate on anything else. She'd mulled over how to best break up with Luke. She thought she'd had the perfect idea. However, now that she was faced with actually doing it, all her planning and careful rehearsal forsook her.

Silently, she stood there, while Luke tenderly looked at her with concern.

"What is it? Are you OK? Is something wrong? It's not Rory, is it?" Luke was obviously worried.

Lorelai took a deep breath. "This," she heard herself say, as her hand involuntarily motioned between the two of them, "isn't going to work out."

Luke's jaw dropped, and his hand swept up to his brow, inadvertently knocking off his baseball cap.

"Christopher…" she whispered.

Luke sagged against the wall. This was it, his worst nightmare come to life. He had always known that it would come to this some day.

"What?"

"I'm leaving you," Lorelai tried to keep her tone even, matter-of-fact, non-nonsense.

"What?" Luke could only whisper.

Lorelai began twisting the ring off her finger.

"Christopher," she began again.

"Christopher," Luke added, then "why?"

Why? There it was, the inevitable question that Lorelai had known and feared would come. What could she tell him that he would believe?

She couldn't tell him the truth: it would tear him apart to have to choose between April and her. The truth? It would take April away from him in so many different ways.

A lie? That was something she might be able to pull off. She'd done it once or twice before, but never had the stakes been so high.

Luke, still leaning against the wall, watched in morbid fascination as she continued to twist the ring. He hoped against hope that this was not what it seemed.

"Lorelai, I--"

He swallowed deeply.

"Is it because of April…?"

"No," Lorelai replied, perhaps a little too quickly and a little too harshly.

She winced as she saw the pain that immediately crossed Luke's beloved face. No matter how much he had compartmentalized over the past months, she knew, she just knew that they could get through this. The look on his face, the pain in his eyes, the tremor and shock in his voice told her though, that the longer she stayed, the more hurt she would cause him.

"I just…Christopher."

The ring finally twisted off her finger. She handed it to him, but he withdrew his hand, and it fell to the floor.

With the metallic sound of the ring bouncing on the floor in her ears, Lorelai turned to leave.

Luke, though, wasn't about to let her go, and held onto her shoulder with his right hand. With the other, he grabbed her around the waist, and twisted her around, violently, until she was facing him.

"Christopher." His voice was bitter. "Does he love you like this?"

And he pulled her towards him and kissed her with every emotion he had ever felt for her. It was longing, it was violent, it was good-bye.

For one second, Lorelai melted and began to respond to him, but then the voice on the phone reminded her…'Each day after that, that you refuse to comply…' That gave Lorelai the resolve to push him away.

Subconsciously, she ran her tongue over her lower lip. God, she could taste him there. "Just…please, Luke." With that, she turned away once more.

"Fine. Go to him. I was right all along, wasn't I?"

She walked out of the storeroom, and into the diner. How could everything seem so normal, she thought. She took an envelope out of her purse and placed it next to the cash register. Then, she took one look around before walking out of the diner, head bowed, and shoulders slumped.

-----

A half-hour later, Luke slammed the apartment door shut as his shaking hands held the envelope that someone thought Lorelai had left. He blanched when he saw the County Courthouse return address in the top left corner.

He tore it open and pulled out a set of what appeared to be legal documents. It was all there, in the first paragraph:

_"Forthwith, Lucas William Danes is ordered to not contact or attempt to contact Lorelai Victoria Gilmore by letter, telephone, electronic mail or any other form of written or spoken communication, including but not limited to communications via Internet. Lucas William Danes is further ordered not to solicit any third party to communicate with Lorelai Victoria Gilmore by letter, telephone, electronic mail or any other form of written or spoken communication, including but not limited to communications via Internet, on his behalf. Furthermore, Lucas William Danes is ordered to remain at a distance of no less than 500 yards of Lorelai Victoria Gilmore at all times."_

There was more, but Luke didn't bother to read it. The legal papers fell to the floor, at the foot of the bed where they'd first made love.

She was gone. To Christopher. And had hit him with a restraining order.

He should have known.

_TBC...maybe..._


	2. Cuervo

Fueled by a strange cocktail of grief, relief and adrenaline, Lorelai made it back to her home. Once there, she slammed the door to her home shut, locked it, and then turned her back to the door, leaning heavily on it for support as she sank to the ground. 

'Well. We're done,' she thought, her heart breaking into yet more pieces as she recalled the time she'd told Luke that their wedding plans were all set.

And yes, she had done it. She had managed to not only break her engagement to Luke, but break up with him entirely. And all within a day. It looked like Luke would only lose one day's visitation with April.

The question for Lorelai was: what to do now that it was over?

She tried to focus on that question, tried to work through what she was going to do now that the focus of her life, besides Rory, was gone. She no longer had her fiancé, the man she loved. She still had her inn, though. And Rory. And her parents, she snorted to herself. And Paul Anka. Was that enough?

Unintentionally, she once again ran her tongue over her lips. Luke had kissed her. Luke had kissed her one last time.

Oh. Yeah. She still had Christopher.

-----

At Anna's Boutique, Anna Nardini hung up the phone. 'So far, so good,' she said to herself. Sharing April with Luke, while bad enough, at least had the advantage of providing her with some spare time. But she was damned if she was going to let another woman be a better mother than she was.

-----

Lorelai Gilmore was drunk. In fact, had she been even remotely lucid, she would know that she had now been drunk for nearly four days. She had consumed all the liquor in her home, and after that, had driven, even though inebriated, to the package store in Woodbridge. There, she stocked up on all her favorites, including a copious supply of good ole' Jose Cuervo.

Returning home, she called in sick "indefinitely" to the Dragonfly, placing a more than willing Michel in charge. She changed into comfortable clothes, and then settled in for the long winter her life was about to become.

And then Lorelai proceeded to drink herself into oblivion.

The phone rang; she didn't answer. People knocked on the door, she didn't answer. She just drank. And cried. And soon, the crying was all done and it was only about the drinking.

Lorelai blacked out at least twice, and as soon as she returned to consciousness, started drinking again. Once, she woke up in Luke's boat in the garage. Another time, in her bed. She had no recollection of moving from the kitchen, no recollection of how she managed to open bottle after bottle, get drink after drink down her throat.

On the fourth day, had Lorelai been lucid, she would have heard the knocking on the door. She would have heard the male and female voices calling her name. She would have heard the sound of a key being inserted in the lock, the door slowly opening.

But she did hear when the door to the house slammed open, and heard Rory's worried voice, along with…Christopher.

"Mom? Mom!" was intermingled with "Lor?"

The sight that met Rory and Christopher's eyes was horrendous. It looked like Howard Hughes had taken up residence in Lorelai's kitchen and living room. The smell that greeted them though, was even worse. Clad in just a t-shirt and panties, Lorelai obviously hadn't changed or washed in days. Her eyes were red and glazed over, her hair stringy, and her breath reeked. Indeed, the entire house reeked of alcohol and stale sweat.

"Mom, what happened?" A concerned Rory tried to get her to sit down on the couch.

Christopher helped Rory ease her down, gently stroking her hair out of her face.

"We broke up," Lorelai's raspy voice eked out, as she waved her now-bare left hand over at Rory.

"Yes, Luke told me," Rory replied.

"April," Lorelai sighed. "Why did she have to happen?" She burst into tears.

"I'm sorry," Christopher said, trying to be supportive.

"What did I ever do to deserve this?" Lorelai continued.

Rory didn't have to think about the question for even a second, immediately reassuring her: "It's not your fault."

"Whose fault could it be but mine?" Lorelai choked out, almost incoherent.

Rory spent several minutes reassuring her mother, until finally, Christopher said, "Lor, just let him go."

Rory glared at Christopher, then quietly asked Lorelai, "Mom, where's Paul Anka?"

----

By evening, the house was neat and cleaned up; Christopher had called in a maid service from Woodbridge. Lorelai was upstairs in the freshly-made bed, Rory tending to her mom. Christopher had fed the dog, who'd managed to avoid dehydration by taking advantage of the back door that Lorelai had left open during her drunken wanderings.

Christopher went upstairs to check on Lorelai.

"What are you two doing here?" Lorelai asked.

Rory and Christopher exchanged glances. This was not good.

"We came by a few hours ago to check on you. Rory called me and said that no one had heard from you in almost a week," Christopher explained.

"And Luke said you'd broken up with him," Rory added. "And Sookie told me that you hadn't been at work for four days, and that you called in sick 'indefinitely'."

Lorelai began to cry, and Rory gently held her.

"He kissed me….one last time," she sobbed. "And I pushed him away."

-----

The next morning, Rory was gone but Christopher remained. Lorelai was still distraught, dazed and upset.

"Lorelai, I need to get back to G.G.," he explained.

Lorelai passed out.

----

The next morning, Lorelai awoke in unfamiliar surroundings. Voices floated towards her subconscious, and gradually, she woke to consciousness. She heard a man, a woman, a giggling little girl. She drifted back to semi-sleep.

A few minutes later, she woke again as she heard the door to the room close. A man--not Luke, she thought with disappointment, but Christopher--loomed over her at bedside. She saw him slip off his robe, and then he climbed into bed with her, and placed his arm over her.

Just like Luke. Just like Luke used to.

Lorelai realized what she had done.

-----

One week later, Lorelai closed the box in her bedroom, labeled it, and then collapsed on her bed in relief. Her bedroom was still relatively bare; her living room, however, was a different story. Poor Paul Anka probably thought that the room looked like a forest of boxes.

Lorelai had managed to convince Christopher to drive her back to Stars Hollow in the middle of the night. She simply could not risk having Luke see her. Christopher was only too pleased to oblige her.

Residing in her home was out of the question. Residing in Stars Hollow was no longer an option. Not only was Luke there, but it was also just too close to her parents. Even in good times, their relationship was tenuous.

And there was her business. Fortunately, Christopher was able to hire a lawyer who would arrange things so that Lorelai would not have to be there for a while. Sadly, she thought, all her dreams were evaporating.

With a sigh, Lorelai tried to force those thoughts away, particularly thoughts of the Dragonfly, Luke, Stars Hollow, Luke. But she found that the thoughts that followed them were far worse. Over and over, the scene in Luke's storeroom as she broke up with him replayed through her memory. His eyes, the expression on his face when she told him that they were over, the stricken look when she tried to hand him the ring. And worst of all, the feeling of his arms around her as he pulled her close for that desperate farewell kiss. The taste of his lips on hers. The wave of arousal that his mere touch brought to her mind and body, that just thinking about him brought.

The look on his face as she pushed him away. The sound of the diner bell chiming for her for the last time.

But he had his daughter. And he had his reputation. And Lorelai had the tears now flowing, an endless supply. Lorelai curled up on the bed and let her pain take over.

_TBC...mood permitting_


	3. Available Immediately

Luke awoke from a nightmare about Lorelai leaving him. But unlike his usual dreams, this one hadn't gone away as he awoke. 

And as he awoke, he then realized that she was indeed gone. It had been the same nightmare, every night since she'd broken up with him.

Lorelai had come into the diner and left him, just like that. Broken up with him. Returned the ring. Kirk can have that ring, he bitterly thought.

He couldn't get over the concept that she was gone. Broken up with him just because he'd spent some time getting to know his kid.

But she'd said that she was OK with it.

Of course, back at the Winter Festival, she'd reassured him that it was workable. He welcomed her assurances with relief. Now, in hindsight, he realized that she had not been fine about it. Ever.

He could only imagine the anger and frustration that she must have felt when he told her that he had a hitherto long-lost daughter. His sister had been right: he'd truly let it ruin everything good between them--slowly eroding away at the trust between them until a chasm of despair took over their relationship.

And like a turtle, he had withdrawn his head into his shell, unintentionally abandoning Lorelai.

Maybe it was for the best, he thought. Anna was making access to April quite difficult.

Still, they'd made some progress, with April inviting him to chaperone her trip to Philly.

But Lorelai had left him.

Luke sank down into his chair, having a beer as his breakfast beverage.

It seemed all so clear now. He remembered when he'd told Lorelai about April. The look on her face was sheer devastation but later, it seemed like she was OK with it. Oh, how he now wished that she had blown up about it. He remembered how upset he'd been when Christopher called before Thanksgiving. Although his distrust had been fading for months, he still insisted that she tell him everything. And she had, while he hadn't.

And now she was gone. He would have to live with seeing her go about town. He doubted she'd ever set foot in the diner again, her coffee needs notwithstanding. And he certainly thought that he'd never be able to serve her again--the memory of her lips, her body, her hands, and the love in her eyes was just too vivid. And most vivid of all was the look on her face when she had proposed to him.

The first time they'd broken up, he really hadn't realized how important she was to him until they'd separated. That time, he hadn't been able to breathe, his throat constricting and every step outside the diner taking an eternity to make sure that she wasn't around.

And after the break-up, there really weren't any more trust issues between them. Or so he thought, until the phone call. He got up and grabbed a second beer. Right there, in this chair, he'd demanded a promise from her that he later proved unable to reciprocate. Her kisses and reassurances afterward had been wonderful, but the look on Lorelai's face still haunted him.

And now, he felt as if a part of him had been ripped away. He loved her. He still saw her face, her beautiful face, radiant with happiness as she came down to greet him in her perfect wedding dress. That, he thought, would probably end up being his favorite memory, one that he would keep stored away for a rainy day.

Except that for Luke, every day now would be a rainy day.

No. He could not let her break up with him. It had been almost two weeks, and he hadn't seen her.

-----

Luke descended the stairs to the diner, greeting Caesar as he ducked behind the counter. The only customer at this early hour was Kirk, who attired in his realtor jacket, had evidently lasted more than one month in his newest career. Passing by him, Luke was annoyed as Kirk handed him a flyer.

"My newest listing," Kirk pontificated.

Luke grabbed the paper, and left the diner.

At the corner near Doose's, Luke began to ball the paper up and throw it into the trash.

Until he saw which house was listed.

_Beautiful newly remodeled 3-bedroom 2-bath house in Stars Hollow. Large master bedroom with all-new bathroom featuring double sinks. Custom built-in bookshelves in downstairs bedroom and living room. Third bedroom ideal as nursery or sewing room. Large backyard, ideal for children. All appliances included, one-car garage, washer/dryer. Conveniently located close to Stars Hollow town center. Available IMMEDIATELY._

-----

It took Luke all day to even try to recover from the shock he'd felt when he saw the ad for the home. At first, he was shocked, then angry. Didn't he pay for most of the renovations? And now she was selling the place?

And more importantly, where was she? Was she staying in Stars Hollow, or moving out of town?

Unfortunately, those questions would have to wait until evening; he had a business to run after all, and a daughter coming to visit after school.

Luke decided to start with Lorelai's best friend.

-----

"Luke, hi, what are you doing here at this time of day…er…night?" Sookie queried.

She didn't sound too thrilled to see him, Luke ruefully thought.

Luke had had plenty of time to think during the day, and had decided that the best thing to do was to be honest and flat-out ask Sookie. Knowing Lorelai, she'd probably confided in her.

"Come in, come in," Jackson's voice chimed in. Jackson appeared in the doorway, holding his one-year-old daughter. "Come on in." The sight of Jackson tenderly holding his little daughter hit Luke in the gut. That should have been April and him. That could have been his and Lorelai's kid.

Sookie stepped aside, letting Luke enter her home. Luke followed, little Davey running up to him, squealing "Hi Uncle Luke! Hi! Where's Auntee Lor-lee!"

Not knowing how to react or what to do, he stood awkwardly in the Belleville's kitchen, having followed the family there,

Luke took a deep breath and tried to focus on the question he needed to ask, but before he could say anything, Sookie jumped in to inform him that she couldn't tell him where Lorelai was.

"Luke, I'm so sorry, she's asked me not to say anything…"

Jackson added, "And believe me, you don't want to know."

Luke's heart sank, and he struggled to compose himself. "Is she…OK?"

Sookie gave him a sad "you should know better than to ask me that" look.

"Tell her…tell her I still love her…and I hope…she's happy."

Luke turned to leave.

"Oh wait a second; she did give me something to give to you, way before the breakup…" Sookie remembered. "Hold on a sec."

Sookie quickly returned, and pressed a box into his hand. Luke didn't need to open it; he knew what it contained: the necklace he'd given her at Valentine's. Another lie.

"Man, I'm sorry," Jackson spoke up. "But Sookie, well now she's got a lot more work to do at the Inn…and she needs her rest…"

Luke nodded his understanding, and said goodnight.

Going to his truck, he drove it away. There was one more place he could go to try to find her.

_TBC…mood depending_


	4. Searching for Ms Gilmore

"Gerta! For heaven's sake! Who's at the door at this time of the night?" Emily asked. 

Before Gerta could answer, a male voice broke in.

"It's Luke Danes, Mrs. Gilmore," Luke answered in lieu of the hapless maid, striding straight into the living area. "Where is she?"

"Why, hello Luke."

Luke noted Emily's forced smile, but cut straight to the chase. "Emily, is Lorelai here?"

Emily looked at him with disdain clearly showing on her face. "Well, no, she isn't here."

Her words were neutral, but to Luke, her face clearly implied 'Although if she were, I wouldn't tell you.'

Emily continued, "Wasn't she at her house or at the inn?"

Luke shot her a withering glare. "Emily…" he began once again.

"Emily dear, let me handle this. Man to man," a booming male voice interrupted, entering the Gilmore living room.

"Yes Richard, please take care of…this. And Luke? Just remember, she's not here, she's where she was always meant to be."

Emily moved aside to let Luke pass by her, and Luke followed Richard into the opulent den.

Richard closed the door, and indicated that Luke should take a seat. Luke, though, stood his ground, standing squarely in front of Richard's desk as Richard settled in behind it.

"So Luke, can I have Gerta get you anything? Coffee? Tea, perhaps?"

"Nothing. I'm good, thanks. There's just one thing I want."

"Very well then, Luke. So, what can I do for you?"

"Where's Lorelai?"

For just a moment, Richard hesitated, unsure as to how far he should go. After all, he actually kind of admired Luke and had found him a good influence on Lorelai. Then he remembered Emily's admonition and reminder that Lorelai was where she was always meant to be.

"Are you sure that you should be asking me this? Lorelai told us that she broke off the engagement."

"That's true, but something's not right about this…"

"So you think there's a chance for reconciliation?"

Luke, for a moment, let himself think about the possibility of being with Lorelai again, then forced himself to return to reality.

"Yes, if only I could talk with her…"

Richard looked sadly at Luke. "I'm sorry to say this, but I don't think that will happen anytime soon. If ever."

He stood, and extended his hand to Luke. "Nice to see you again, Luke. Good luck with that diner of yours. And my best to your daughter."

Luke ignored the hand. "Where is Lorelai?" he demanded to know.

Richard ignored him and walked to the den's door.

"Gerta! Gerta!" Richard had made it to the door. "Please show Mr. Danes out."

Luke, defeated, left the Gilmore home, frustrated and stymied in his attempts to find Lorelai.

-----

Later that night, Luke found himself in his bed, finding it difficult to fall asleep. He briefly looked around the bedroom area, when a flash of color peeking out of the nightstand drawer (Lorelai's nightstand, he thought bitterly) caught his attention. He moved closer to Lorelai's side of the bed, and reached over to open the drawer.

Without thinking about it, Luke reached forward and picked the colorful item up. It was one of Lorelai's nightgowns: the green negligee he really loved. The one she'd worn after he'd given her the necklace on their Valentine's Day getaway. With a hitch in his breath, he pulled it to his face, and stroked it against his cheek. Suddenly, it was almost as if she was with him again, and comforted by its presence and the memory of her body inside it, he eventually fell asleep with it clutched in his hand, his cheek resting upon its softness.

A mere few hours later, he awoke in the dark and quiet of nocturnal Stars Hollow. Turning on the light next to his bed, he glanced at the alarm clock and saw that it was nearly 4:00 AM. Not wanting to risk going back to sleep and then waking to find that he'd slept half the day away, Luke got up and prepared for the day,

To pass the time, he decided to work through the stack of bills and invoices at his desk.

-----

"Any mail?" Rory asked Lorelai as she came into the apartment, handing her a mug of steaming hot coffee. Lorelai had GiGi in tow, having picked her up from preschool.

Lorelai shook her head 'no', and GiGi, holding her "Auntie Lorelai's" hand, pouted, causing her sister to laugh.

"Don't worry, GiGi. I'm sure you'll be getting mail soon," Rory assured her. She motioned for Lorelai to move into the kitchen area as GiGi scampered off to her room.

"So have you even talked with Luke, Mom?"

Lorelai made a slight scoffing sound. "We're broken up. It's over."

"Mom, you've been saying that for a couple of weeks now."

"Face it, Rory. I'm going to be the spinster with the cats from now 'til I die. No one wants me, and even your Dad…well…" Lorelai stopped before going any further, remembering how she'd woken up in his bed the night after the break-up, having had sex with him.

Her words were said with such a tone of self-hatred that Rory actually flinched, but the moment was over as GiGi was running around the living room.

Rory watched her mother leave to go corral her sister, then turned back to her coffee and thought about what to do. Lorelai had changed, no doubt about it. She was quieter yet paradoxically more restless; her effervescent personality gone, her appetite worrisome, and she rarely left the apartment. Maybe her mom was right: she was becoming a recluse, staying at home, showing no interest in anything.

Maybe, Rory thought, it was time for her to go to Stars Hollow and tell Luke. After all, this started with Lorelai's breakup with Luke. And Rory knew, from the reports she'd gotten from Lane, that Luke missed her mother. And it didn't take a rocket scientist to see that Lorelai missed her old friend and fiancé. It was written all over her face.

But, Lorelai had asked Rory not to say or do anything, and until she gave her permission, she would have to do as requested.

With a sigh, Rory focused her thoughts elsewhere, and took another sip of her coffee.

_TBC...mood willing..._


	5. High Altitude

The next morning, Rory returned to Yale, and invited Lorelai to stop by the Yale Daily News. Lorelai actually looked forward to seeing her editor-daughter in action. She was also peripherally aware that her daughter was profoundly concerned about her mother. 

So, Rory was very surprised to see Lorelai later that afternoon. Walking to the editor's desk, Lorelai smiled as she observed Rory turning on the computer. Rory looked like she truly was in her element among the busy reporters and general hubbub of the newsroom.

After exchanging a few pleasantries and mocking various members of the Yale Daily News staff, Rory asked, "Hey, would you like to check your email?"

Lorelai shook her head, indicating 'no'.

"You never know…I'll bet there's a whole pile stacked up in your Dragonfly account. Why not take a few minutes and make sure Michel's treating everyone right?"

Lorelai managed a wan smile, but nevertheless shrugged her shoulders and walked behind Rory's desk. Logging in, she opened her mail folder and gamely sifted through the piles of spam and several complaints (she was sure) from Michel. There were also several emails from Luke, which she studiously ignored. And then her eye caught a name from the past: Mike Armstrong from the Durham Group. She opened his email, unsure of what to expect.

Mike was offering her another opportunity. Once again, it had everything she could have hoped for and more. The opportunity to do something new. The opportunity to restore greatness to something, to put her own unique stamp on a property. The only problem was that it was in Colorado. Out west. Far, far out west. Lorelai sat transfixed, staring at the screen, wondering if this was Karma's sick idea of a practical joke. She was being offered her dream job when her personal dream had evaporated so cruelly.

Her first instinct was to erase the message. But then, she changed her mind. Even though it felt comfortable on the surface, Lorelai knew she didn't belong as an ersatz-Mommy to little GiGi. She didn't belong with Chris. Her place was with Luke, but she could not risk his losing his child and his good reputation because of her…because of her selfish need to be with him. She re-read the email, and then sent a quick affirmative response back to Mike. A few months away might bring a new perspective and help her forget Luke.

Jumping up, she called across the newsroom to Rory, "Hey kiddo, guess what..."

-----

Vail, Colorado's high altitude made breathing difficult for Lorelai, but the Human Resources person at the Durham Group had assured her that she would soon become acclimated. Standing in front of the quaint Alpine-style property, Lorelai suddenly felt very 'Sound of Music.' Giggling, she started humming "I have confidence…" as she walked into the property and up a long flight of stairs to confront a receptionist in the offices of her new place of work.

The young dreadlocked man in Bavarian garb looked up and asked, "Can I help you, ma'am?"

Lorelai wrinkled her nose. Ma'am? Made her feel oh so old. Focusing her thoughts on the expectations of the new job and new life awaiting her, Lorelai answered, "Yes. I'm here to see Patricia McNamara."

"But of course you are. Aren't they all. Do you have an appointment?"

Was every assistant in the world that she encountered doomed to be a clone of Michel?

Lorelai opened her mouth to reply, but the door behind the young man opened before she could say anything. Her new boss stepped out.

"Ms. Gilmore! How nice to meet you! Please, come on in."

Studiously ignoring the receptionist's sardonic glare, she followed her new boss into her office.

"Thank you." Lorelai walked in and took a set at in front of the desk.

"So, Ms. Gilmore, you come highly recommended by the Durham Group upper management!" Patricia exclaimed. "How are you settling in? Mike didn't paint the job as being too overwhelming, I hope?"

"Lorelai, please, please call me Lorelai," Lorelai requested. "Actually, he hasn't been too obnoxious," she added, laughing along with her new manager.

"Well, take a few days to settle in. I'll be happy to help you with whatever you need."

After a brief hesitation, Lorelai said thank-you, smiled and nodded.

"So, please call me Trish," the manager requested. "Shall we take a tour?"

-----

Later that evening, Lorelai sat down on the sofa in the living area of the hotel suite she would be calling 'home' for the foreseeable future. She sighed, having already spent quality cell phone time with Rory to let her know how her first day went.

Lorelai sank into the sofa with a sigh. She had finally finished unpacking her suitcases and the few boxes she had shipped out ahead of her. It felt good to relax. Her mind wandered back to her conversation with Rory.

At first, Rory hesitated just the slightest bit, appearing reluctant to listen to the details of her mother's new locale. Both women knew that they were skirting the real issue: Lorelai running away from Luke. And apparently, as far as she could, across a continent.

"So, when do you actually start work?" Rory asked.

"The day after tomorrow. At least, I think that's when. It's not like I brought a lot of things with me…"

Again, the elephant on the phone line loomed large in the silence. Rory opened her mouth as if to follow up, then thought better and closed it again. Her mom would get to the point eventually.

This was a side of her mom that Rory had not seen much over the years, but ever since the breakup of the engagement, it seemed to be Lorelai's standard operating procedure. Usually, Lorelai would immediately hone in on the issues, always going straight for the heart of the matter. Now she often would just beat around the bush.

"So, you hear from your Dad today?"

Rory responded, "No. Why?"

"He...well, he's been struggling a bit with GiGi lately, and I was wondering if he had tried out some of the suggestions I gave him." Lorelai paused, and then giggled. "Not that I ever had to use any of them on you, my angel child."

"Nope, but I'll check with him the next time he calls, K Mom?"

"You planning to go to Stars Hollow any time soon?" Lorelai added.

Rory heard the unspoken request. See how Luke is doing.

-----

Anna placed the last sweater on the shelf, and heaved a sigh of relief and satisfaction. Stocking merchandise was never her favorite activity. Maybe she should see if Luke could help her with that…

"Speak of the devil!" she exclaimed, as Luke and April entered the store.

"April, you need anything else?" Luke looked nervous and eager to leave.

"Uh, no. Thanks, Dad." She rolled her eyes.

"Bye then."

Luke smiled briefly at April, who ran to him and gave him a quick hug; he then turned to leave.

Anna called out, "Luke!"

He turned back around.

"Thanks, Luke. You really are good at this dad thing."

Luke responded simply, "She's my kid. I've got to take care of her. It's my job, what a father's supposed to do."

Anna gritted her teeth and managed to force a sickly smile. There always was a veiled accusation in his conversations with her.

"Well, I know she enjoys being with you too." She smiled, more cloying this time. "So, how's life in that town of yours? How's your…fiancée, Lorelai was it?"

"We broke up." He stood there awkwardly, and then added, "Bye Anna. I'll see April at the diner tomorrow."

-----

Lorelai had intended to get a good night's sleep, especially with the strain the high altitude was placing on her body. But her mind raced and wouldn't let her rest.

Luke.

Damn it.

Well, she'd broken her last record. She'd spent a whole two minutes without thinking of her former fiancé. At this rate, she would finally finish forgetting him about two hundred years after her death.

Lorelai's hands wiped the tears from her eyes, and then balled up into fists. What had she done?

-----

Across the continent, Luke also could not sleep. Thoughts of Lorelai haunted not only his days, but his nights were now a sleepless nightmare.

And it was all his fault.

There was no way around it, he had ruined their relationship and caused the end of their love. The one person who had never tried to change him, who loved him and accepted him, and he had driven her away because of his kid.

Luke had so many memories of Lorelai through the years. But no more. She should be here beside him. He reached under his pillow and clutched the green silk she'd left in his bedroom. He would always love her.

_TBC…_


	6. Checking In

Within a week, Lorelai had hit her groove. 

"Hey, heading out," Lorelai called to Trish as she left the office.

"Okay Lorelai. See ya tomorrow," the hotel manager answered, her eyes briefly glancing up over her laptop. Lorelai Gilmore had been a godsend to her hotel; within a week, she had brought a particular charm and ambiance to the place. It simply amazed her how thoroughly Lorelai threw herself into the job, almost as if it was the only thing in her life. She definitely was a hard worker.

She also was quite good-looking; Trish had noticed that she garnered quite a bit of both male and female attention. She also noticed that she repeatedly refused all requests to socialize--and she seemed to receive quite a few. She was, after all, a particularly beautiful woman, no doubt about it, and obviously talented and intelligent, but apparently untouchable. Trish returned to her work; as much as she wished that she had a professional equal that she could also dish some girl talk with, it was refreshing to have a colleague who worked so hard and was so dedicated.

----

Lorelai unlocked her hotel suite door, and kicking the door shut, carried three grocery bags over to the kitchenette. For a minute, she stood there, staring at the bags, and then started to unpack. Grocery shopping: definitely an alien activity for her. It was something that Luke always used to do. She rummaged through one bag and pulled out some frozen dinners and the makings for copious amounts of martinis.

After haphazardly putting the remaining groceries away, she fixed herself a pitcher of martinis and went into her bedroom, where she, the martinis, and a box of Twinkies spent the evening with the television.

Bracing herself for the night, the martinis soon helped her slip into oblivion.

For the worst part of the day was coming: night. The part she couldn't control, where her thoughts ran rampant in her dreams.

Thoughts of Luke.

-----

Anna rummaged through the cash register drawer, sorting all the cash into the correct slots, closing out the register. Placing all the cash into an envelope, she took it and carried it with her back to the kitchen, where she placed it into a carefully-concealed wall safe ensconced in a cabinet. Setting it down on the counter, she retrieved a pot to boil the pasta in. The fixings for lasagna were ever-present in her home; she was, after all, a Nardini.

She had just put the lasagna in the oven when the doorbell rang. Setting the timer quickly, she took off her apron, and headed towards the door.

"Hi, Luke," she said with a smile as her former lover, standing in the doorway, nodded a greeting in return. She'd noticed that he was still physically standoffish; perhaps one day he'd graduate to a kiss on the cheek…

"Hello, Anna. You're looking good." He handed her a bottle, which she glanced at. Organic grape juice.

"Thanks. And this is…"

"April's idea. She was debating the merits of different brands of juice."

"Well come on in. Why are you still outside? You look good too." She moved back and he stepped past her and into the house. Then he turned around to look at her.

Anna did look good, though not as good as Lorelai, he thought. She'd gained a little weight over the years, which suited her well.

The aroma of lasagna--vegetarian, of course--reached him. "So when did you learn to cook?" he asked.

"Being a mom, you know, you kind of have to…"

No, you don't, he thought, remembering the state of Lorelai and Rory's refrigerator throughout the years.

"When she was little, April always wanted to have…"

"Anna…." It was a warning. The topic of April's earlier years was still a bone of contention between the two.

Luke thought about pushing it, but stopped himself. With Lorelai, he wouldn't have stopped, but that was yesterday and this was today. "So, what's for dinner?"

"Lasagna. It should be ready in about a half hour. Would you like something to drink?"

"Sure."

"April! Luke's here." She shouted up in the general direction of Anna's room, while Luke took his jacket off, and headed for the family room. A few minutes later, April entered, carrying a beer for him, and a few choice words about the effects of alcohol consumption on the brain.

Anna laughed, leaning over to whisper at Luke: "It's great that you've been spending so much time with April. It's a critical time in her life, you know."

Dinner, to Luke's surprise, was a comfortable affair, considering that it was the very first time the three of them were having dinner together at the Nardini home. Just like a family, he thought. The conversation flowed easily: each of them telling the other what was happening in their lives. Luke focused on the goings-on at the diner, since he knew that would interest April the most, especially since she now knew just about everyone in Stars Hollow.

Everyone except Lorelai, he silently added.

After dinner, they moved back into the living room and the conversation broadened to include homework. April's grades were spectacular; she was doing quite well, and Luke regretted that he couldn't discuss whether April and Chilton might be a good fit with Lorelai. The conversation moved on to a recap of the competition in Newark, and then went on to the next level of competition. It was scheduled for New Orleans, but the organizers were currently looking for a new venue.

Eventually, the conversation slowed, the evening wore on, and it was time for April to finish her homework and head for bed. She hugged Luke goodnight, and to his surprise, gave him a quick peck on the cheek.

"Tickles, Luke," she giggled, "Which really doesn't make sense, you know. Beards are supposed to be like bristles, not ticklish."

"I remember that stubble of yours well," Anna murmured as she walked Luke to the door. "Good-night Luke," she added, sending him off with a fond squeeze on the arm.

Luke returned to the diner, relieved Lane, and soon closed up shop and went upstairs. Slowly, he climbed the stairs and prepared for bed. The worst part of the day would soon be upon him: night. Night was the one part of the day that he couldn't control, where thoughts of her ran rampant in his dreams.

Lorelai.

-----

Each morning in the Rockies began the same way. Lorelai woke up at seven, despite the fact that her alarm clock was turned off. Her body had adjusted to rising at that hour, and usually she was awake before the alarm went off, having no purpose for staying in bed. She'd go into the kitchen and make instant coffee. After her coffee, she headed to the bathroom for a quick shower returning for a quick pop-tart breakfast.

After she finished another cup of coffee (oh how she missed Luke's special blend!), she dressed and went on to work. She took the same route to work each day, and welcomed the sight of the quaint Austro-Bavarian-themed hotel. If she closed her ears to the sounds around her, she could easily imagine being on the set of the 'Sound of Music'.

Entering the hotel, she was greeted by Trish. Just like Lorelai, Trish was a hard and dedicated worker.

"So, have you heard the news?"

Lorelai shook her head. "No. Do tell!"

Lorelai tried to muster some enthusiasm considering the (for her) early hour, trying to put real effort into her talk and actions.

"The National Math Olympics Finals will be held here…at our hotel!"

"Wow. A hotel full of geeks…"

"Geeks with money," Trish supplied, "or rather, their parents. This convention was originally scheduled for New Orleans, but due to the hurricane damage…"

"Gotcha," Lorelai replied, "their loss, our gain."

"And they're arriving on Monday! I'm so glad we're not into ski season. Did I ever tell you about the time that we..." And Trish told Lorelai a story about the antics during a previously hosted competition. "And they had to duct-tape all the doors shut at nine PM," she elaborated, "which totally destroyed the finish on the doors."

"Well time to tackle the day's to-do list," Lorelai softly suggested. Trish nodded, and stood up, ready to head to her own desk. With a heavy sigh motion, Lorelai went to her desk and collapsed into the chair, facing another day.

------

On Monday afternoon, Lorelai was at her desk, eating her traditional frozen meal for lunch, barely microwaved, when the bell at the reception desk rang.

And rang.

And rang.

Where was that crazy receptionist?

She put down her fork and aluminum tray, and headed for the door.

She opened it to find Luke standing on the other side of the reception desk.  
-----

Lorelai's first impulse was to hug him and never let him go. Her second was to pass out. Her third was to call Rory and ask her if Logan had enough money to buy some sort of Star Trek device to beam her away.

In the end, she didn't do any of those things. Instead, she reached out over the desk, as if to touch Luke's arm, then abruptly turned around and ran back into her office.

Grabbing her cell phone and dialing quickly, she paced as it started to ring. Just as she was about to hang up and try Rory's cell, Sookie picked up. "Hello?"

Lorelai answered, "Hon, it's me. Listen, I need you to do me a favor, and please don't ask why. Call Luke's. See if he's in Stars Hollow."

Sookie must have heard the urgency in her voice, because she didn't protest. Instead, she replied, "Sure Hon. Random, but can do. Are you OK? Where are you?"

"I'm OK. Just text me back and let me know. Thanks Sook." She hung up.

Lorelai closed her eyes and leaned forward onto her desk. Within seconds, Sookie texted her that Luke was out of town with April. After giving herself a couple of minutes to regain her composure, she headed back out to the reception area.

Luke hadn't moved. In fact, he was still staring at the same spot that he had been staring at when she left. Lorelai walked around in front of the reception desk, stopped a few feet from him, and then took a few moments to look at the man that she had fled across an entire continent from.

He was so handsome, but looked so worried. There was definitely a new sprinkling of grey in his beard stubble. Clutched in his hand was a small duffel bag, and the oh-so-familiar black and red bag that Anna had given him was on the floor next to him. All in all, he didn't look good. He looked rundown and weary.

"Lorelai," Luke whispered. "What…are you…doing here?"

Lorelai and Luke literally circled each other, before she leaned against the desk. "I was just going to ask you the same thing. What are you doing here?"

"April's math team…"

"Ah. Where is April?"

"Fast food run with the other chaperones."

Luke gazed at her. His look was so intense that it almost frightened her. When he spoke again, his voice was hoarse, as if he hadn't used it for a long time. "Why, why did you do it, Lorelai? Why did you do it?"

"Do what?" she whispered, now just as hoarse as he was.

"Leave me. Leave Stars Hollow." Luke's eyes flashed in anger but his voice was eerily calm. "I loved you and you ran."

Lorelai let out her breath softly as she realized what he was saying. Loved her. Past tense. What had she done?

And she still loved him.

Standing up slowly, Lorelai asked, "You loved me?" She placed particular emphasis on the past tense of the verb.

Luke nodded. "Lorelai, I don't know what happened, but I still…" He left the sentence hanging.

Turning, Lorelai started to move away again.

Suddenly, Luke stated, "Oh god, Lorelai, don't leave. Please don't." He launched forward towards her, now face-to-face in front of her. "Please don't go."

Lorelai felt all her resolve leave her, and as she leaned forward, relief palpably flooded Luke's face. Lorelai reached out and brushed his cheek, and, at her touch, he threw his arms around her and held her close. She closed her eyes and held him just as tightly.

"Hey Dad? Are we checked in?"

April.

Luke and Lorelai jumped apart.

_TBC..._


	7. I Slept with Christopher

Lorelai dropped her hands and took a quick step to the side, abruptly severing contact with Luke. 

"Nice to see you, what a surprise," she shakily said to April, who by now had come up to her father. Lorelai couldn't help but notice how close she stood to Luke, how natural the two looked standing next to each other.

"Dad, are we checked in? Freddy wants to go over the…"

"Check-in. Correct." With her customary aplomb, Lorelai quickly recovered and moved around to the other side of the reception desk. She briefly fiddled with the still-somewhat-unfamiliar computer system, and then asked, "Name?"

Luke looked at her, mouth open.

"Oh. Right. Of course I know your name. Danes."

It should have, would have been mine too, she sorrowfully thought.

"So…" she managed a smile in April's direction, "your roommates are Laura, Hannah and…"

"Marie, right?" April supplied.

"Right." Lorelai programmed two keycards and handed them to Luke and April.

"And Luke…it looks like you have a roommate too."

I wish it were me, she thought.

"Hannah's Dad, they're the only two dads on the trip." April sure seemed helpful.

As she finalized the registration, Lorelai couldn't help but notice that when he wasn't paying attention to April, that Luke's eyes were probing in her direction.

"Enjoy your stay…of…three days," she added. Three days.

Luke just stood there. Watching her. April was rummaging through some brochures.

"In rooms 201 and 207," Lorelai added.

And still Luke just stood there.

"Dad!" April piped up. "Freddy?"

"Right."

And just like that, they were gone.

------

Lorelai, on the other hand, was still there. Where was the reception clerk? Going back into her office, she first stopped to get a glass of water, and then went to her desk to do some serious thinking. It was then that she suddenly remembered: Anna.

The reason she was at this beautiful resort in the first place.

The first thought that she had was that Anna would now make good on her threats to harm Luke's reputation, and to keep him from his kid. But technically, it was Luke who had come to her new home; she had stayed away from him. To make matters worse, there was no way that Anna could not find out: April had seen them embrace.

Lorelai would do anything for Luke, and she had done just that, even though being apart from him was killing her. And she could tell from his demeanor, words, and appearance, that he'd fared no better. Maybe she should just tell him where she'd gone when she'd left him. What she'd done with Christopher. That would certainly kill any residual feelings Luke might still have for her.

But just thinking about that was next to impossible. Maybe--maybe she should just tell Luke everything. What Anna had done. Her threats, what she planned to do if Lorelai didn't comply. But how could she? No one would believe her.

Just the though made Lorelai angry. Though she believed that Anna deserved to set the parameters for interaction with her kid, Luke had rights. Rights he needed to pursue, she thought.

Did she even have the right to suggest that he solidify his relationship with April now that they were no longer engaged? Technically, no, she thought. But there was no question in her mind that Luke had a right to his kid, and a right to a personal life of his choice. But then her conscience chimed in again, rendering a harsh judgment against her: what gave her the right? And how would Luke ever trust her again once he knew what she had done?

But she had done it for him. Lorelai wiped the tears from her face, softly swore and started making a list.

Should she go to him? Leave a message in his room? Have him meet her in her office, or come to her small off-site hotel suite? All tough questions, and there were no easy answers. Any activity Luke undertook away from the kids he was chaperoning would surely draw the attention of the other chaperones and the teachers.

But she needed to see him, alone. The damage as far as Anna was concerned had been done, she rationalized.

Would Anna make good on her threats once she found out? Probably. Otherwise, why else had she fled so far away? But Luke needed to take action. The status quo, it was clear, was already enough to destroy them.

------

Lorelai ended up going home.

For some reason, once there, she chose not to have her usual junk food and alcohol dinner. Clutching the list she'd made in the office, she sat down in front of the television. She alternated between obsessively reading the list, dozing off, and idly flipping through the channels, until finally, she slipped into a fitful sleep.

Hours later, it seemed, Lorelai awoke to a loud pounding on the door, with an even louder voice calling her name.

Luke!

She hurried to the door, peeking through the peephole to see that it was indeed Luke. Shaking, she quietly let him in and watched as he surveyed her small suite.

"How did you find where I live?" she inquired, as with a sad sigh, she preceded him the short distance to the living area.

"Your boss was quite forthcoming once I told her all about your mulling of Mike Armstrong's offer last year…" Luke supplied, staring at her with a haunted look on his face.

"Sit?" Lorelai motioned to one of the chairs at the small table.

As he took a seat, Luke pulled out a piece of paper from his jacket pocket.

"Why?" he asked, the haunted look becoming more pronounced, waving the document at her.

It was the restraining order.

"It wasn't my…"

"Why?" he persisted. "What did I do to you to deserve this?" Luke's voice, painful beyond imagination, cracked.

"Don't you need to be with the kids?" Lorelai whispered.

"Never mind them. I'm here now. They're studying." His eyes were probing hers. "Why, Lorelai?" he reiterated, then balled up the papers and threw them across the room. "Forget about this," he emphasized as he tossed the balled-up papers. "Why did you leave me?"

Lorelai was crying. "Not my idea…"

"Was it Emily?" he asked, voice steely. "Did she make you…?"

"No. No!"

"Then who?"

"I can't tell you right now. Oh Luke," she quietly said through her soft crying, "I am so sorry. For everything."

"Why didn't you let me know? One phone call, Lorelai, one phone call…" His voice was raspy as he continued, "I looked and looked for you…"

"Luke?" she sighed softly, reaching out to gently touch the hair peeking out from his forehead from underneath his ball cap. "I didn't want to…"

At her touch, his eyes closed, and she saw him start to visibly tremble. Without thinking, out of pure instinct, she leaned forward and put her arms around him. Luke immediately wrapped himself around her and Lorelai began to cry more vehemently, while Luke continued to tremble.

Unsure of what else to do, but needing to do something, Luke pulled her onto his lap and ran his fingers through her hair as she continued to hold onto him.

When it finally seemed like she was done, Luke took her face in his hands and asked, "Do you want to talk about it?"

Lorelai stood her ground. "I don't think I can tell you."

For a second, Luke considered her words. Then he continued, "Lorelai, we were engaged. I still love you, and even if I didn't, we'd be friends. You should never feel that you can't tell me something. Please. Please tell me what happened."

"I slept with Christopher."

There, she'd said it. Maybe he'd go away now and she wouldn't have to tell him about Anna.

She waited for the anticipated expression of disgust and revulsion.

"I know," he calmly told her.

"What?" she exclaimed in shock.

"When I couldn't find you, I finally was able to persuade Rory to talk to me. And he…Christopher…he showed up at her apartment. And proceeded to inform me that you were with him."

"I thought it was all over," she told him. "Between us…all over…"

"But why did you end it in the first place? Please. Tell me."

He looked at her with love and trust, just like before, she thought. And she realized that it must have meant something that of all the hotels in the country, in the whole U S of A, he'd shown up at hers. Maybe, like the snow, that was a sign.

Lorelai took a deep breath, and buried her face in the crook of his neck, her lips mere millimeters from his ear.

And so she told him. In a halting, guilt-wracked voice, she told him about how Anna had forced her into leaving him.

When she was done, Lorelai lifted her head and moved backward, so that she could better see his beloved face. She noticed, however, that he was staring at the ground.

Luke looked wounded, but mercifully, did question her.

If only he were just physically wounded, Lorelai thought with a pang. A flesh wound would be so much easier to deal with. She'd simply get her first aid kit and patch him up.

"It's getting late, and I need to go," Luke finally spoke.

Lorelai nodded, silently, and began to slide off his lap. She thought about kissing him on the cheek, then thought better of it, as she rose, and he stood up to leave.

It was too soon.

The wounds were too fresh.

-----

The next morning, Lorelai woke up with a start: she had overslept. She almost panicked when she saw the time on the suite's alarm clock. She would definitely be late for work. And then she remembered Luke, and how she'd told him about what Anna had caused her to do.

She needed to talk with him.

Before showering, she called Trish at her home. "Hey Trish, Lorelai here." Trish was not in, so Lorelai left a message.

"Listen, I'm fine. But I need some time off. A day or two." She paused. "A friend suddenly showed up."

Lorelai cringed. That sounded so melodramatic to her. Mysterious friends showing up.

Lorelai hung up the phone, then readied herself for the day. A day which had to include Luke in it, someway, somehow.

-----

Arriving at the hotel an hour later, Lorelai discreetly checked the competition schedule to find out when Luke would have a break. As she made a mental note of the times, she suddenly felt as if a ghost was blowing across the nape of her neck.

Startled, she turned around to see Luke standing right behind her, with a sad expression on his face. Immediately, she thought of everything that she had told him the previous night, but forced herself to act normal in case any of the kids or other chaperones were in the area.

"Hey."

_TBC..._


	8. Dream State

"Hey," she answered back at him, eyes shyly meeting. "This is awkward," she admitted. 

Luke nodded.

"Let's…go over there, to the lobby…" Lorelai gestured to a very public area, "I need to say something."

A tug of war raged within Luke. Part of him wanted to tell her to go to hell, to go back to her precious Richy-Rich boy-man Christopher, even to stay here and live her new life. Another part wanted to take her seriously, and talk. And then there was the part that still, after everything, wanted to hoist her over his shoulder, carry her to the nearest room with a lock, and literally take her. Ravish her. Master her. All those caveman-type of things.

Because in spite of what had happened between them, their broken friendship, their broken romance, their failed engagement, a charge of electricity still passed between them. And if he was honest with himself, it wasn't a bad thing being with Lorelai Gilmore. Even if she could be--or rather, was--a lot of work, she brought life to his life.

The better side of his nature prevailed. Luke yawned, and followed Lorelai to the lobby, even as he remembered his recurring dreams of the previous night before.

-----

Luke had been dreaming more often since he'd been with Lorelai. His favorite dream was based in reality: a reenactment of their first time together. Were he the type of man who contemplated such things, the irony would not be lost on him: Luke Danes, nephew and son of a Revolutionary War re-enactor, was himself a sex re-enactor.

The previous night had been no different. He'd left Lorelai's small hotel suite, partly in anger, partly in sorrow, and mostly with regret, and gone back to the beautiful hotel she'd sought haven at. Haven from him, he noted.

Later, somewhere in his dreams, she said, "I'm so glad you brought me here to Sniffy's, Luke."

He remembered every detail of that night, but the seconds, minutes and hours after he'd asked her if she was scared replayed in his mind over and over again. They were among his most precious memories. Dinner was over, and it was time to go home.

Define home, he remembered thinking. He'd wondered if she was thinking the same thing.

First, he'd just smiled back at her, and she'd arched one beautifully-shaped eyebrow at him, as he held the door open for her as they made their way back to his truck for the trip back to Stars Hollow.

When they got to the truck, Luke leaned into Lorelai, backing her up against the cab door. He felt her breath coming hot and fast, and he suddenly began to feel very warm. And before he knew it, he was nibbling on her earlobe and she gasped.

Oh, it was so good to taste her, he thought. Even in his dreams, he could still savor her. He could not believe that she was allowing him to touch her in this way. And before he could process that thought, the tip of his tongue traced the delicate whorls of her ear. And unbelievably, leaning against his truck, she stretched her neck to give him better access.

"Luke," she moaned, and gripped his arm.

He reached out and pulled Lorelai into him as he thrust up against her with a groan he didn't even try to hide. He knew that his erection would be unmistakable. Time to stop pretending, time to show her his…hand. From her moans, he could pretty much deduce that she felt the same way.

Luke looked down at Lorelai and saw that he was indeed correct. So, he couldn't stop himself from reaching for her again and bringing his lips to hers. Not a gentle kiss, this parking lot kiss: Luke, as if he'd had nothing to eat just that hour before, devoured her mouth, seeking every inch of her mouth with his tongue. And she rewarded him, kissing him back as forcefully as he was kissing her. She pulled his bottom lip between her teeth; he then captured her tongue and sucked on it until neither had any breath left.

Emboldened, especially since some other Sniffy's patron, or even Bud or Maisie could come out and see them, he began rubbing her thigh. "Lorelai," he whispered, thrilled as she uttered something incomprehensible in response, "Look at me. Please."

Why was it so hard for him to breathe?

In his sleep, he gasped, sucking air into his lungs, then quieted.

Lorelai opened her eyes wide, strangely silent, and turned her head to him, as Luke gently tilted her chin so that he could look deeply into her eyes. What he saw transfixed him: eyes shining, full of wonder, hope, and unmistakable lust.

"Come home with me tonight," he requested.

Normally chatty Lorelai did not say a word, just almost imperceptibly nodded her head and then pressed her lips against his.

"Is that a yes?" he queried.

In response, she nodded more vehemently this time, sending another thrill through him. Had he really rendered her speechless? Luke acquiesced to her kiss, as he nipped at her bottom lip and made her gasp. Mouths open, he immediately took advantage and slid his tongue into hers as he again deepened the kiss. Luke's hand came around to the back of her head as things spiraled out of control, turning her from side to side as he explored her mouth.

Abruptly, Luke broke the kiss; Lorelai stared up at him in confusion, panting for a breath. Luke had never seen her look so wild; he could easily wake up from his dream now and die happy. Instead, his index finger's tip came up to her mouth and he traced her lips, now denuded of all lipstick. And then, something amazing happened. Lorelai took that finger, and guided it below her waist.

In his dreams, Luke couldn't ever quite remember what exactly she had worn during their date. Pants? Skirt? It didn't matter as she allowed him to dip his finger inside her…in Sniffy's parking lot. Wet, wet, wet was all he could think of, all he could remember.

"Let's get out of here, cowboy," he heard her huskily suggest, as she abruptly turned and opened the truck door.

The drive "home"--defaulting to the diner by unspoken decision--was nothing less than an infusion of adrenaline into his body. He was now certain that he'd found his mate. He noticed that mercifully, she was ensconced up against her side of the truck cab. Initially frustrated, he realized that he was grateful that at a time when all sense of reason had fled, his brain, she at least had the sense to make sure they'd get home in one piece. He wanted this woman, and didn't know if he could wait until they got home--before he had her. And she had him.

God, what if she changed her mind during the drive home? What if it gave her time to think, to discover a shred of common sense? Time to think of all the reasons why they shouldn't do this, why small-town diner owner and city heiress should not be together. Time for her to build up all those walls keeping him away from her all those years…to retreat into her familiar pattern of dating men at arm's length, of dancing around him between cups of coffee and burgers.

"Stop."

Lorelai's voice was resolute and firm, and Luke awaited the inevitable. He pulled the truck over, and Lorelai suggested that he park behind a strip mall, away from the street. She rolled the window down, and the cooling night air drew her closer to him, for warmth. The night air against her flushed skin made her gasp.

And suddenly, her mouth was on his, seeking, and she threw her arms around his. His hands were already under her blouse.

"Luke?"

"Uh huh?"

"Luke!" she gasped.

He pulled back. "What?"

"Seat. Back."

He nodded and adjusted the seat as far back as it would go. And then she pulled him down onto her.

"Lorelai?"

Her hands were suddenly everywhere.

"You know."

He was right; he knew what she wanted.

He touched her between her legs, and as she squirmed, she began unbuttoning her blouse.

He looked down at her then, her bra beckoning him, and thanked her foresight in wearing a bra with a front clasp. He briefly considered doing something fancy: unclasping it with his mouth, but was afraid he'd be too clumsy and would do something inane like choke on the clasp. Safety was always an important consideration.

In a heartbeat, her bra came undone. Lorelai felt the cool night air on her breasts and shivered at the sensation--and at the way Luke was hungrily eyeing her. He leaned down slowly, hovering just above her left nipple. The tip of his tongue snaked out involuntarily, and he flicked it. To his eternal pleasure, Lorelai gasped, and he repeated his motion, finally closing his lips over her breast. Was there any greater satisfaction than hearing such a magnificent woman make little whimpering, pleading noises, because of him? It was better than the last ten minutes of the Super Bowl.

He then moved on to the other nipple, the one to the right. She was so beautiful, and he told her. He was so lucky, and he told her, or so he thought.

And then he stopped.

Because this was Lorelai. And as much as he wanted her so badly, more than life itself, the cramped cab of his truck, lurking behind shuttered businesses in the dark, was not where he wanted their first time to be. He'd waited eight years. Eight years. He could wait fifteen more minutes.

And sometimes the dream ended there, and some nights he relived the rest of that magical night. A night of firsts for him and his apartment.

-----

"I'm sorry about all this, Luke. Luke? Luke!" Lorelai tried to get his attention. "You OK? You were never one to daydream," she chuckled nervously.

_TBC..._


	9. Rescinded

Luke visibly relaxed as he realized that Lorelai wasn't going to corner him in private. He still had a difficult time even grasping what she'd told him about Anna, let alone what he'd found out about Christopher. Taking the proffered seat, he mistakenly assumed that Lorelai was in effect babysitting him. "You know, I don't need babysitting. You can go work if you need to." 

"Luke, I haven't seen you in weeks, and you want me to spend my time working? Not likely." Something almost akin to a smile crossed her lips and Luke thought he saw her humor and familiar warmth in her expression.

They sat in awkward silence for a few more minutes. Then, taking a deep breath, Lorelai asked, "How's April doing in this…" she waved her hand noncommittally, "contest? Funny how it ended up here, what with Katrina…"

Luke's face sobered as it took on a pained and sad expression as he answered, "She's knocking it out of the park. I don't know how I ended up with a kid like her…"

He stopped and looked her in the eye. "Don't say it, Lorelai…"

"You and me both...Like I said, what is it with this oh-so-smart younger generation?"

They were interrupted by a waitress carrying a tray.

"So, tea for you…and coffee for me…Thanks…" she dismissed the waitress.

"As good as mine?"

"Never," Lorelai replied.

"Peppermint tea. You remembered. Lorelai, thank you." Luke shyly smiled his thanks, and Lorelai, for the first time in weeks, felt hopeful, as if a great burden had been lifted off her.

Maybe they could get along again, after all that happened.

Five cups of coffee for Lorelai, and one cup of tea for Luke later, they were finally ready to get down to business.

"Luke."

He knew what was coming.

"I am so sorry. For everything. For telling you. For not telling you, about Anna. For…you know…Chris. I'm sorry," she said in a low voice, almost as if she feared his scorn.

"Well, it is what it is. For Anna, you have nothing to apologize for. And for what it's worth, both Sookie and Rory informed me of the presence of vast quantities of tequila."

Lorelai gratefully nodded, but her mind was somewhere else. "Luke, about Anna…"

He inclined his head, ready with a retort, but she jumped in. "I think a lawyer might help…"

"I'm April's father. I'll deal with Anna," he replied, then looked at the clock in the lobby. "I need to go check on the kids. Their prep time…it's done."

"When you gotta go, ya gotta go," Lorelai said, as she placed her hand on his arm. "I'm taking the day off. I'll be in my room, and then back here in a few hours."

He frowned at her. "You look worn, Lorelai."

"Ya, well…"

"Try to get some rest?" He squeezed the hand she'd placed on his arm. He thought about kissing her on the cheek, and then thought better of it.

"Tell April…good luck," she said with a wry smile, as both left the lobby.

-----

The problem with working in a cozy establishment was the same as with living in a small town like Stars Hollow: the gossip mill worked at warp speed, Lorelai noted as she returned to her suite. Trish had left no less than four messages about the "hunk with the delectable triceps dent" she was "snacking with" in the lobby. She briefly considered returning the calls, but there was something more important that she needed to do.

Swallowing her pride, she called Hartford, Connecticut. The Gilmore Group. Its CEO, to be precise.

"Dad? Do you know any lawyers here…?"

-----

Two hours later, she was in a lawyer's office.

"Thank you for seeing me on such short notice," she said as a venerable-looking lawyer ushered her to a seat in front of a standard mahogany desk. "This really is kind of important to me..."

"Of course, Miss Gilmore. Anything for Richard and Emily. So good to hear from them again…" He perfunctorily continued, "What can I do for you? Your father indicated something about having a restraining order rescinded…"

"I made a huge mistake. I had a restraining order put out against someone without meaning to…"

"Miss Gilmore…"

"I know, I know it sounds odd."

"Richard was not too happy that you want to rescind this order. Tell me, Miss Gilmore; are you under any form of duress?"

"No. Yes. No, not right now. But then, I was. And now I'm wondering if there is any way I can get it taken care of…you know…removed…"

"You would like the person released from it." The lawyer frowned, raising his eyebrows, almost scowling at her. "And why do you want to do this again?"

Lorelai hesitated, trying to come up with a reasonable excuse. "I was…under stress…when I did it."

"Uh huh. Susan? The fax?" he spoke into his intercom. "Let me take a look at them…hmmm…." He perused the papers that had been faxed in from Connecticut.

"Is it possible?" Lorelai probed.

"Well, there shouldn't be any difficulty here, even across state lines. We can assign power of attorney to your father and have him take care of it."

"Really?"

"Really. He smiled, avuncularly, bearing an uncanny resemblance to Ken DeLay, Lorelai thought.

He continued. "This is also only a temporary restraining order…actually…it's expired….already…"

"Wow."

"Wow indeed, Miss Gilmore."

Lorelai smiled. "Um, that's good news then. I guess I'll be going." She almost tripped trying to get up.

The lawyer reached his hand out to her. As they shook hand, he added, "Please give my best to your parents. They simply must come stay here, even if they don't ski," he chuckled.

"I will. Thanks. Thank you for your time."

"Of course. And if you ever need legal advice again, please just call Susan and she'll make arrangements." He handed her his card.

"Thanks. Thanks again." Lorelai smiled, took the card, and then practically ran out of the office.

-----

Returning to her small suite, she let herself into the room and collapsed on her couch, not even making it into the bedroom. Fortunately, she noted, Housekeeping had already tidied up the room and made up the bed. So she was free to just be alone for the rest of the day.

First order for the rest of the day: call Luke. Second: a nice relaxing bath.

Lorelai left a message at Luke's room, vague enough so that the other Dad sharing it wouldn't know what was going on, but specific enough, hopefully, that Luke would know. Babbling on about wadded pieces of paper having been expired anyways, she left her message and then hung up.

Lounging in her warm bath, Lorelai couldn't help but think about Luke. Trish was right: he did look delectable. She wanted to see him so badly, to make amends for everything bad she had done to him. She reached to the tub's edge, where she'd placed her cell, and dialed Luke's cell.

"Luke?" she asked, in an unsure voice.

"Lorelai?" he answered.

"Did you check your voicemail…in your room?"

"No…should I?"

She smiled. D'oh, she thought.

"Yeah, I left a message. Or I tried to make sense of one, I think. And umm…I kind of rambled…but I wanted you to know…no more restraining order."

Crickets.

"Well, fine." She paused again, and then continued. "Anyways, I just want you to know that I'm glad circumstances…led you here."

It seemed to her that Luke was quietly absorbing her statement, and all its implications.

"Well…bye…" she continued.

"Okay." And that was the end of that.

Or so she thought.

Two minutes later, Luke called her back.

He was coming over.

-----

The light was softly drifting in through the window with its spectacular view of the Rockies. When his knock came at the door, Lorelai quickly opened it, nervously gathering the hem of her t-shirt around her.

The door's opening and closing were a blur. One moment she was clutching her shirt, the next she was turned around, her back to the door, pressed hard up against it. And he was kissing her. And in spite of herself, she was kissing him back. And she also felt his hands roaming, the hand on her arm moving ever so slowly, stroking her.

This could not continue. She was no longer worthy. Not after having been with Christopher. Not after having spent time in his home, with his kid, with him, having left Luke. She tensed for a second, but he didn't seem to notice. She momentarily relaxed, again, as he moved his kisses to her neck, to the juncture between neck and clavicle. And all the while, he continued his soothing touches on her arms.

She pushed him away.

Luke was surprised to see tears in her eyes. Bringing a hand to her face, he tenderly brushed away the droplets. "What? What's wrong? What is it?" he inquired, just as gently as his touch.

Lorelai turned her face into his hand and could not resist pressing a soft kiss into his palm. "We can't." She swallowed. "Christopher…Anna."

"I said I'll take care of her."

She worried her lip with her teeth.

"And Christopher…I know it's partly my fault too. I was jealous of you and afraid. Afraid that April…"

"Oh Luke," she said softly. "I would never come between you and your kid." For a long minute, they stared at each other, neither wanting to break the closeness. Then Lorelai's eyes drifted closed, as she leaned forward to rest her head on Luke's chest, just cherishing the feeling she thought she'd never have again.

"I know that…now," Luke huskily added. "I am such an idiot…"

Lorelai smiled through the tears that were quickly returning. "Yes, you are…but you're mine."

"You're so pretty, so alive..." he murmured.

Lorelai quickly tried to hide her smile, to no avail, as Luke's face filled with relief.

Luke pulled her back towards him, and leaned forward to gently touch her lips with his own. Lorelai, still ashamed for having been with Christopher, tentatively leaned forward to wrap her arms around him. Luke buried his nose in her hair and breathed in her scent, as Lorelai put her ear next to his heart and listened to the life flowing through him.

Luke then clasped both of her hands in his, and held their hands close to his chest, kissing her hands, then back to her mouth.

"Show me…" he whispered.

"What…" she responded?

"You know…"

And that's when she knew that she had to do her utmost to put the past behind her. She reached up to kiss him back, as Luke grasped her, more forcefully, behind the neck, drawing her even closer towards him and covering her mouth with his. Lorelai barely had time to breathe before Luke's tongue was exploring her mouth, tasting her. His hands were everywhere, working their way from the small of her back to the curve of her breasts. He bent forward and sucked again on her neck.

"Luke please…"

"I'm not going to stop, Lorelai…"

Lorelai whimpered as Luke pressed his body hard against hers, his erection making itself known rather insistently.

"Oh, god Luke…"

"It can be the way it was. We can get through all of this." His hands were now bringing forth feelings she'd thought she'd never have again. "It was good then and it can be good now…"

"So good…" Lorelai parroted back.

"Mmmm…"

"Bed…" she commanded.

_TBC…_


	10. What they want

Even as Lorelai indicated that they should move to the bed, Luke hesitated. 

"What?" she asked, confused and sensing his hesitation.

"I thought you'd...never want to see me, be with me, again…like this…"

"What?" she reiterated.

"I treated you horribly, it wasn't until you left that I figured that out, Lorelai."

"Luke, that's the last thing I thought of."

He nodded. "I'm glad. Do you know...what it is you want?" he asked quietly. "From me…from us?"

Lorelai opened her mouth...and no words came out. Not a thing. She wanted to tell him that she wanted all of him, to share his life, to share his family, to be a stepmother to April and a mother to their future children. She wanted to wear their matching jogging suits to any of April's sports events (though she kind of surmised that April, like Rory, was not a sporty girl…) She wanted to walk Paul Anka together with Luke. Lorelai wanted to come home to him every night and know that there was no other place he would be.

A long finger began to trace the line of her jaw. "Whatever it is, Lorelai, we can make it work. We'll make it work." Luke's fingers cupped her chin and she found herself mesmerized by his gaze. "Just tell me what you need. I promise, we'll work through the April issue."

She reached up and grasped his fingers and kissed his hand. It felt wonderful to taste him upon her lips, so natural, as if none of the bad things had happened. With each touch, her mouth automatically responded, wanting more. One finger, two…until by the fifth, she was also watching as the tip of Luke's tongue traced his bottom lip.

"Luke," she murmured. "Our problems--they were my fault too. And know this," she added as she placed a final kiss across his knuckles, "your daughter could never be an issue to me…"

"No more," Luke replied, "but if we're going to do this--" he waved towards the bed, "I need to tell you what I need, what I want."

Lorelai stared back at him.

"I want more than this…" he waved towards the bed once again. "What do we do later today? Tomorrow? And the day after, I leave. And you're staying here…"

Lorelai smiled, sadly resigned, and extricated herself from his embrace. "You're right…we can't be doing this. You're going back home--" She fought to keep the tears from starting again. "And I must stay here. Otherwise Anna…"

"I told you, Anna will no longer be a problem."

"And Christopher."

"Lorelai, if we do this, he cannot be part of it. That's all I want."

Luke looked at her as they stood in the doorway to the bedroom, as if willing her to talk to him.

"I want everything with you, Luke," Lorelai finally admitted. "To share your life, to help you with April…and not to take over, I realize I'm not her parent."

Luke nodded his understanding.

"And I want...remember when I told you that kids would be nice?"

He nodded again, remembering the night of her proposal.

"I meant it."

"But…"

"But I'm scared. Because I'm here and you'll be way over there back home…"

"Can you get out of your contract?"

She nodded. "Probably. But I need…"

"A commitment. A date," Luke finished her thoughts.

"And with the whole Anna business…"

"How about you work on getting back home…and we'll set the date as soon as you're back."

"Deal."

"But no more Christopher. I want to erase him, Lorelai, erase him…"

Luke lunged forward and took her head into his hands. Immediately, her mouth opened and met his. They sank into the kiss, leaning in the doorway as Lorelai relaxed her body and wrapped her arms around Luke's waist. She gasped as he lifted her off the floor and carried her to the bed. He placed her on it, and then lay atop her, covering her with his body. As her body was pressed deep into the mattress, Luke reclaimed her mouth.

"Mine," he whisper-growled, leaving no doubt as to what he meant by erasing Christopher.

In response, Lorelai unequivocally stated "Yours" and wrapped her legs around him and arched up. Luke groaned "Mine" again and possessively kissed her, ending with a not-so-gentle bite on her shoulder. He roughly pulled her shirt over her head, and moved a hand to one breast, as she helped him remove her bra. She whimpered, then whispered, "You're mine, too, you know" between kisses.

Luke suddenly stopped. "Do you have any idea how miserable I've been, Lorelai?"

"No--I don't!"

"Miserable. Pathetic. Oh, I held it at bay around April," Luke took a deep breath, "but I missed you. I need you."

"I'm afraid, Luke."

"Of what?"

"Of screwing up again. And losing you. To April."

As she confessed her insecurities, Lorelai bit her lip; a tear forming in the corner of one eye.

"I'm sorry. I was jealous of you," Luke answered. "But I've learned that we have something worth keeping, Lorelai. Something worth fighting for." Luke leaned forward and rested his forehead against hers.

Lorelai brought her hand up to touch his face; he pressed a kiss into her palm.

She sighed. "Can we do this again, Luke?"

"I think we can, Lorelai. As long as there's communication." Luke looked rather sheepish. "Liz had a talk with me." He looked at her, seemingly faraway with his thoughts.

"What?"

"Well, it may take a team of mules, but eventually, I get there…"

She kissed him in response.

"God, Lorelai, look at you." It was as if he suddenly realized that she was laying there topless, just for him.

Lorelai blushed.

"So beautiful, so gorgeous, Lorelai."

Lorelai blushed even more.

"I love it when you blush…" Luke whispered,  
as he kissed her cheek, and then her neck as she placed one hand on the back of his head, encouraging him.

Lorelai's body screamed of her need as she pressed against him and moaned softly as Luke's hands continued to explore.

Slowly, Luke took his time exploring her body with his lips and tongue. Her neck. Her left shoulder, then her right. Exploring the swell of each breast; paying reverent attention to each nipple. Finally, he deftly slid the remainder of her clothing off of her, so that she lay completely nude before him.

Luke stared at her in awe, and swallowed hard.

"Lorelai..." He parted her legs and knelt between them, running his fingertips lightly against first her outer, then her inner thighs. "Let me. Please," he pleaded as he rubbed the stubble of his cheek against one thigh.

Lorelai acquiesced, resting her arms on either side of her head, letting her legs fall open.

For the longest time that afternoon, Lorelai floated in sensations of physical bliss as Luke made love to her with his mouth. She realized that he was doing more than that--he was also worshipping her. Each kiss, each touch was tender, soft, coaxing. She yielded to him as she never had before with him or with any other man in her life. She sighed with delight as he re-learned her body's intimate secrets. She felt his smile when she groaned deeply as he pushed his tongue inside. And just before her eyes rolled back, she gasped and looked down at him and moaned his name, over and over.

Luke stopped, mission accomplished, and met her eyes between pressing kisses onto her tummy. Sated, Lorelai realized the one thing wrong with what they'd been doing: Luke was still fully dressed.

Lorelai reached towards his waist and tugged at the waistband of his sweats. Arousal began anew as he followed her cue and peeled off his clothing, matter-of-factly.

"You're so perfect…" she uttered.

"No…I'm just me…" he whispered in response. And as he stood there, he watched her eyes take in every inch of his body.

Sitting up slowly, never taking her eyes off him, she huskily whispered: "C'mere." She patted a spot on the bed next to her. Luke obeyed, when to his surprise, Lorelai suddenly rolled over him and off the bed, ending up on her knees in front of him. She was breathing heavily, then leaned forward and licked his tip. Luke immediately groaned, his hands clenched into fists at his sides. She licked him again, lightly, then ran her tongue up his full length before taking him into her mouth for the first time in weeks.

Oh fuck, he thought. She made him feel so good.

Lorelai let him slide back out and then back in again, continuing the out-in motion. Luke's eyes grew wide as she suckled his head, running the tip of her tongue underneath it, and then eased him down her throat again, keeping him there this time as she hummed some indecipherable tune, sending the most delightful vibrations through his body.

"Oh fuck...Lorelai..."

She brought her hands up to briefly entwine with his as she sucked. And then suddenly, she felt his hands hesitantly grope on either side of her head, weaving through her hair as he groaned. Looking up, she smiled her most wicked smile as she watched his glassy eyes.

Luke began to fidget, as he moving his hips forward. She sensed that he was close. Then, he suddenly muttered, "Uh! Stop...Lorelai, stop." He pulled out and held her head in his hands, panting. She looked up at him in confusion, wondering what she'd done wrong. Luke refocused his gaze on her.

"I want to screw you senseless…" he gasped, as he tugged her up and towards him.

_TBC…_


	11. Senseless

Senseless was right. It was late afternoon before Lorelai woke from her sex-induced, deep sleep. 

She reached out to discover that Luke was already up and about. Rolling over, she pulled the covers up under her chin and watched as he finished dressing.

"Luke...I...I..." she murmured.

Oh God. Luke looked at her and had the sinking feeling that she was going to ask him to forget that the afternoon had ever happened. She had that look in her eyes, that look he had seen too many times before.

"You can forget about asking me to forget about this, Lorelai. Not gonna happen." Luke pulled his socks on as he looked at her. "You weren't lying to me this afternoon. Your body certainly wasn't lying to me." He smirked at her. "I know you. I know what you like, Lorelai, and not just in bed…"

Lorelai was now sitting up, clutching the covers to her chest.

"I'm not going to forget that anytime soon. Or ever."

Luke walked over to the bed and sat next to Lorelai, gently smoothing her hair.

His voice mellowed to a whisper. "And I won't ever forget the sacrifice you made for me. So I could be with April."

He continued stroking her hair.

"You have to go."

"Yeah, it's late afternoon, I do have to get back…back to being Hagrid the field trip dad…"

Lorelai's face fell.

"But," Luke continued, noticing her sad face, "I want you to have dinner with us tonight. Meet the gang. The other chaperones and teachers…April's friends…" he hesitantly suggested. "If you want to, that is…" he quickly added as he gauged her reaction.

"Very much," she proclaimed, as she wrapped her arms around him.

"I think you need a little extra naptime after all your…activity this afternoon," Luke suggested, laughing. "I'll leave the info for you…" he assured as he lowered her down on the bed, "and a wake-up call? For five PM?"

When she opened her eyes again, he was gone.

-----

Lorelai stood in the hallway, staring up at the room number. Rocking back and forth on her heels, she tried to steady her nerves. Why was she so nervous in her own hotel? What if the other dad answered the door? Would he think that Luke had a honey in every field trip town they went to? What if April answered? What if the phone rang and she was alone and it was Anna?

After he'd left earlier that day, Lorelai had taken him up on his suggested nap, and then freshened up. Showering, all the while in a daze, she wondered if it had all been just a dream: their talk, the dinner invitation that backed up Luke's new commitment to include her in his life with April, their lovemaking--wait, had Luke actually uttered the words "screw you senseless?" The memory of Luke's mouth, of his lips and tongue everywhere--and of him inside her--told her that he had not only used the words, he'd thoroughly followed through on his promise.

Damn him. Damn him to hell. Leave it to Luke to show up unexpectedly and unannounced. Of all the damn hotels in all the world, he had to end up at hers. 'Nice going, Rick,' she thought to herself…

And then he had the nerve to probe, to push, to force her to face what she desperately had tried to ignore: that they had something worth fighting for. And that now, he was indeed all in in a whole new way. And he still wanted her.

But self-preservation matter, she told herself, as she recalled the downward spiral she had fallen into after they broke up. She needed to take care of herself. And even more, she ended to take care of Luke. Anna, no matter what Luke said, was pretty much still a threat to him and his relationship with his daughter. Could she take that risk, could she bring herself to do it? She couldn't just...abandon him like that. It wouldn't make things any better, or easier. She was going to have to trust him again. And the bastard had left the ball in her court.

Damn.

Shit. He was right; it was probably better to face Anna and ensure Luke's rights.

So here she was, at Luke's door. She took a deep breath and raised her hand to knock, when the door opened.

"Lorelai." Luke greeted her nonchalantly, standing there in sweats and t-shirt.

"Luke."

"I uh...come in…" Luke stepped back and waited for her to pass.

"Are you sure this is OK--"

"Ms. Gilmore!" April greeted her from her perch on the couch in front of the TV.

"April!" Lorelai was surprised to see her in Luke's room. "I'm Lorelai…not Ms. Gilmore," she smiled.

"Come in, Lorelai. Your name is pretty."

She walked past Luke and stepped into his hotel suite, further taking in the scene. TV on: check. Kid in front of TV: check. She turned as he came up behind her, rubbing a hand through his hair as he repositioned his ball cap.

She gave him a small smile. "I've uh…been sleeping the day away…"

"Really," he responded dryly, nervously looking over in April's direction.

"And you? How was your day?" she coquettishly added.

"Uh...the opposite, actually. I was trying to get some sleep part of the afternoon. For some reason, though," Luke smirked, "I couldn't."

"Well I hope you sleep well tonight."

"Back atcha."

-----

Dinner went surprisingly well. Lorelai briefly wondered what sort of back story Luke had supplied the other adults. No one seemed to find it strange that his "fiancée" lived so far away.

Returning to the hotel, they walked April to the room she shared with her three schoolmates, and bid her goodnight. Lorelai was touched as she watched Luke hug his daughter, and then accept a kiss on the cheek from her.

"Let's go back to my room," Luke suggested after April's door closed.

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" Lorelai questioned. "What about your roomie?"

"Uh…he and one of the teachers…"

"Got it."

"So Lorelai," he continued as they reached his room. "I...I thought we should..."

"Talk?" She looked up after finishing his thought, pleased to see him looking so calm and thoughtful.

"Yeah. Talk," Luke nodded. "Make yourself at home. Beer?"

"Beer would be nice."

As he entered the small kitchenette area, Lorelai glanced around the room, looking at everything and at nothing. Finally, she sat down on the couch and drank in the ambiance of the room, which she was just now experiencing as a guest.

She saw one of his flannel shirts draped over a chair, and reaching out for it, Lorelai pulled it to her, softly stroking it, taking in its familiar feel. Then she brought it to her nose and breathed in. It smelled of Luke. Of Luke's skin, and his soap—not hotel soap, she noted. It was the most comforting thing she'd felt in weeks (except for his body, she shyly thought.) Lorelai took the shirt and wrapped it around her shoulders, effectively wrapping herself in him. Then, returning to the matters at hand, she sighed and wondered for the hundredth time how they were going to deal with things.

There were things that she now knew for sure; that she needed to tell him. First and foremost, she didn't want their friendship to end, she knew that. And she wasn't angry about April...well, not really. She was resigned and even happy about her presence in Luke's life. What she was resigned to was the fact that, no matter how she wished otherwise, things would change between them because of Anna.

Anna would, like Christopher, always be there. She couldn't erase that. But how could they move on? Would they be able to work out an arrangement that Luke could live with? Would there always be awkwardness? If Anna did anything else that restricted his access to April, would Luke resent her, avoid her, end up hating her? They had come so close to hating each other over this. The mere thought of the recent past made her heart twist painfully into knots.

But she now knew that she couldn't give Luke up again. Ever. When she was around Luke, it was so easy to give in, just as she had this afternoon. She let her heart--and, to be honest, her body--lead the way. She really did love him, she suddenly realized.

She didn't hear him return with the beer. Lorelai suddenly found herself sitting there on the couch with slow, hot tears running down her cheeks, even as she felt his touch on her shoulder. She didn't startle, but instead closed her eyes. She heard Luke place the beer on the coffee table, then felt him gently turn her face to his. She opened her eyes after he pressed soft kisses on each lid; looking up into his eyes, she began to tremble as he kissed her tears away.

"Oh Lorelai..."

She shook her head and tried to regain her composure.

"We sure messed things up…" she said.

Luke reached out and folded her in his arms. She pressed her face into his chest, overwhelmed with emotion. For a time they sat in silence, as he rested his chin on top of her head. Lorelai eventually took some deep breaths and calmed herself.

"You're wearing my shirt…" he said when he noticed her more calm state.

"Your shirt..." Her voice cracked. "I missed your flannel, burger boy."

Luke smiled, gently smoothing her hair.

"Will you let me be with you tonight?"

Luke swallowed, touched by the tone in her voice.

"I mean, since your roommate is gone…" Lorelai clarified.

Luke nodded his yes, and then continued. "You were wonderful this afternoon…" Luke told her.

"No, you were."

"No, you were…"

They laughed.

"Do me a favor?" Luke asked.

"Depends," Lorelai responded, a familiar tone of mischief back in her voice.

"Come to bed, dressed only in that shirt…"

------

Lying in Luke's bed, Lorelai could only think how right this felt. She shifted her body as he spooned behind her. Her breathing began to increase when she felt Luke's erection press into her back. And then she felt him suckle her earlobe.

"Oh god," she whispered.

Luke silently reached around under the flannel she wore and found a nipple, pinching it ever so lightly.

"Oh!"

Cupping her breast, Luke began rocking ever-so-slowly against her. "Do you trust me?" he whispered.

"Oh Luke…"

"Do you trust me?" he asked again. "I want you. Just like this."

"Oh Luke..."

"Tell me, Lorelai."

"Yes. Yes."

Luke eased her forward, putting gentle pressure on her back. Lorelai rested her arms on the pillow and raised her hips, presenting herself to him. "That's it...oh yeah," she heard him say.

It didn't bother her that she was suddenly in one of the most vulnerable positions she'd ever been in with a man. She didn't have time to think about it, for Luke's lips and teeth and stubble were busy.

"Oh god! Oh yes, yes."

"Ooh yeah, that's it," Luke said as he pressed inside, filling her once again.

She smiled for a second, as these were quite possibly the most words Luke had ever said to her during sex.

And then she was taken. Completely and utterly taken. With each thrust, all she could do was moan, responding without shame or worry. She didn't care that she was whimpering; she just ached, wanting to feel him deeper. This was Luke. He was the one. And if it had taken two break-ups, being irredeemably drunk and having an ill-advised dalliance with Christopher for her to learn that, so be it.

"Oh, god! Luke! Luke..." Lorelai's climax hit full force, causing her to spasm, then cry out as her limbs went numb and she collapsed back onto the bed. Luke stayed within her, thrusting a few more times into her body until he came, her name literally becoming the sound of his pleasure as he pressed his face into her shoulder.

-----

Lorelai felt cold. Rocky Mountain weather, she thought. Opening her eyes, she smiled as she heard Luke softly snoring in her ear. Gently, she removed his hand from her hip and sat up. She reached for Luke's flannel and blanketed her body with it, yawning. She wondered how long they'd been asleep. It was definitely not morning yet.

Lying back down, she turned and watched Luke sleep. She couldn't help sighing as she thought of the day that had passed. Luke had indeed, screwed her senseless, she quietly giggled. And then she also sighed as she thought of the next day to come. Luke would be leaving again. And the really hard work would come: they would have to trust in each other, believe that they would make it.

Lorelai sighed as the moonlight filtering through the window caught her eye. She listened to Luke's breathing and silently made a new entry at the top of tomorrow's to-do list: Tell Trish I quit.

_TBC…_


	12. A Quickie Before You Leave

In the cold light of morning, life often takes on a different tinge. But strangely, for Lorelai, her resolve to change things, to tender her resignation, remained steadfast through the night. And so the next morning came, and Luke awoke, pulling an already awake Lorelai closer to him. 

"What's this?" he whispered in amusement, voice still raw, smiling against her skin. "Awake? Lorelai Gilmore awake at this hour?"

"I should leave, now, before your daughter…before April…"

His body stiffened when he heard her say April's name.

"No, it's OK, relax," she assured him. "Remember, I'm a parent too…" She wrapped her arms more tightly around him. "And you should know by now, after all that's happened, that you don't need to tiptoe around me…"

"You're right," Luke sighed. "I just hate…I just don't want you to ever again feel like less than what you mean to me."

Lorelai wiggled her way up so that she was face to face with him. Rubbing her nose gently across his, she acknowledged his tacit apology.

"I promise I'll make it up to you when we're married," Luke added, after gently stroking her hair. "You won't ever have to go and leave me like this." And then he gave a look that electrified Lorelai, all excitement and reassurance and promise.

"Did I ever tell you that you were the first and only man who ever slept in my bed, in the Crap Shack? I always kept that part of my life separate from Rory."

"Even Max?" Luke asked with a touch of wonder in his voice.

"Yeah. Even Max." Lorelai then laughed. "But hey, why am I discussing other men when I am in your bed?" She kissed him. "I. Love. You. But I need to leave."

Luke enveloped her even tighter within his arms, then reluctantly reached over and pulled on some sweats, as Lorelai gathered her clothing.

Once both were dressed, Luke practically smothered Lorelai's head against his chest, as Lorelai encircled his waist with her two loving arms. They helped each other to the suite door, even as Lorelai murmured a continuous mantra of "I love you"s and held onto him tightly.

"Where are you going to be?" Luke murmured as he opened the door and ushered her into the hallway.

"My office," Lorelai clarified, "the one behind the reception desk. I need to type something up on the computer and send it to Durham Group Headquarters."

"Oh yeah?" Luke queried absentmindedly, between the kisses he just couldn't seem to stop exchanging with her.

"My resignation from this contract."

"MMM….Okay…" he gave her a final kiss, then a quick smack on the posterior, causing her to giggle.

"Call me before you leave for the airport?" Lorelai asked.

"Of course!" Luke said, and then suddenly, he realized what she had just said she'd be doing. "Lorelai, wait…resignation letter?"

She shook her head in the affirmative.

"But what about your big chance with Mike Armstrong?"

"Doesn't seem so hot here, with no one to share it with. I want to go home," Lorelai declared. "I'm ready to go home."

Luke started towards her again.

"No, Luke…I don't want any of the kids to see us in the hall outside your room. They'll be getting up soon. Just give me a call, OK?"

"OK."

------

A few hours later, Trish shook Lorelai awake.

"Rise and shine, sleeping beauty!"

Lorelai stretched, quickly trying to get her bearings.

"Sleeping on the office couch, huh?" Trish teased. "Don't tell me that that gorgeous man kicked you out of his bed?" she proclaimed in mock shock.

Lorelai grimaced. "No. He's got a kid and I…"

"Had to get out of Dodge before the kid saw ya. 'Nuff said," Trish responded with understanding. "Well feel free to shower in any unbooked room and…"

"I'm quitting," Lorelai blurted out.

"What?" Trish seemed quite surprised.

"I haven't really been honest as to why I'm out here…" Lorelai started.

"Look, no problem. Your job is between Mike and you. Take care of things and let me know…"

"I'm thinking of leaving this weekend. I hate to do this to you…"

-----

Later that day, Luke called Lorelai's office.

"Ms. Gilmore's not in the office right now, sir," Trish responded. "May I…"

And then it dawned on her.

"Are you her…friend from back East?"

"I'm Luke."

"Luke. Well Luke, Lorelai's resting in Room 144. It seems she was…busy…working…all night."

She was met with an embarrassed silence.

"As I said, Room 144."

-----

Lorelai was awake when Luke knocked on the door. Lorelai quickly let him into the room, and he, just as quickly, appraised her appearance. She was wrapped in a plush hotel robe, her hair still damp.

"It's not going to be easy, is it?" Luke asked. "When we get back. Dealing with Anna."

Lorelai sighed. "Hon, you have a gift for understatement." She looked at him then, and he could see the longing in her eyes. "Every day will be a struggle between my wanting to give her what she deserves, and my brain…"

Luke looked at her, clearly not quite understanding her meaning.

"Look. She makes me so angry. How could she have done this to you? Kept your own kid from you for all these years. When I went to see her that time after the party, I so wanted to strangle her for the hurt she's caused you and April. How can she live with herself? Twelve years, Luke. Twelve years!"

"Lorelai. Lorelai! Stop!" Luke squeezed her shoulders gently, getting her to focus on him and stop her rant. "I know. It is what it is."

Lorelai was clearly still angry, and tears--of both anger and empathy for Luke--were forming in her eyes.

"Geez, Lorelai, I'm so sorry that all this happened. Aw geez…" He stopped to wipe a tear from her face, "I've made you cry again."

"It was a horrid thing to do to you, Luke." She twined her fingers with his. "What are you going to do when you get back?"

"I'm getting a lawyer. My friend Ed has a buddy who knows one of the soccer team dads…"

Lorelai nodded her approval.  
"I finally feel that April has accepted me as her dad. Maybe it'll be easier to deal with her mom now. But let's wait 'til you get back to Stars Hollow to talk about that. Right now…I just want to be with you. Lorelai…"

He stopped, gulped down a breath, and then continued. "I want…I want you to stop punishing yourself. None of this was your fault. I should have told you the very first day when April came in with that silly helmet…"

"Silly helmet? Sounds like I might like to hear more…"

"I don't want anyone else but you. Don't want to make love with anyone else but you." He brought her hand to his lips, turning her palm up, kissing it. He flicked his tongue lightly against the middle of her palm, then traced the lines there with just the tip.

"Luke...you are a bad, bad boy."

"And you love me for it."

"Yes, I do."

Lorelai couldn't help herself. She leaned in and kissed him, and before long, they were devouring each other. Her lips found their way to his ear and she licked his earlobe.

"A quickie before you have to pack up and leave?" she tempted him.

He smiled.

_tbc_


End file.
